Snow Is Stupid
February 22, 2011 at 5:52 am 5 comments
Sitting on that road for nearly an hour = Stupid!
Sitting on that road for nearly two hours = Stupid!
Me deciding to make the right turn onto that road (instead of going my normal route) last night = So Stupid!
Stringing the jumper cables between a vehicle in the northbound lane and a vehicle in the southbound lane to effectively block traffic in both directions instead of pulling off to the side of that road = You’ve-Got-to-Be-Kidding-Me Stupid!
Running in the car lane on that road last night = Amazingly Stupid!
(Note: I don’t think this person was actually jogging but what the heck was she doing?)
Jumping out of your slid-to-the-side car on that road and standing with your back to traffic completely unaware that a less experienced driver than me who had less than my brand-new tires would not have been able to avoid running you over = Stupid.
Cutting in front of me from the left-hand turn lane to turn onto that road and then immediately making an unbelievable clusterf*ckian U-turn in the midst of complete and utter gridlock with no turning radius = You smart bastard.
Announcing on the radio at 4:10 p.m. (with traffic already at a dead stop) that there might be some snow in the area later = Stupid!
Running commercials about how great and amazing and vital your Awesome Major Weather Storm Predictor Six Thousand segment is, while I’m desperately seeking a morsel of info about today’s weather and commute: Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid Stupid!
Tailgating in this kind of weather = Stupid #%*! ##!^ **!!!! Stupid.
Driving 70+ on 279 this morning = Darwin-award-winning stupid!
Winter = Stupid!
Snow = Stupid!
Groundhog = Stupid!
Gloves, boots, hats = Stupid-Stupid-Stupid!
Salt on my car = Stupid!
Shoveling my driveway = Stupid!
Having a day off when your job is snow removal = Totally the Most Stupid Stupid-thing Ever in all the Stupid History of Stupidville!
Entry filed under: Humor - Commentary. Tags: driving, snow, storm, stupid.
Never Tailgate is a gift book with car photos and tips for new drivers. Dare to be Happy is a gift book with advice about life (and doodles). Both are available on amazon.
Life Preservers 
1.
ruth | February 22, 2011 at 6:24 am
oh my! Haven’t yet recovered from that commute last night, huh?
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2.
boatdrinkbaby | February 22, 2011 at 7:09 am
No and this morning was almost as bad. Actually called 911 at one point. Sat for over an hour on Rt. 51 (moving by inches if at all); then, saw two bad accidents on 279. I was near tears when I got here.
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3.
boatdrinkbaby | February 22, 2011 at 7:10 am
p.s. I called 911 because of one of the accidents, not because I was having a bad commute ;)
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4.
WritingbyEar | February 23, 2011 at 3:13 am
My Somerset-native “it’s just snow!” husband works 10 mins. from our house. Even HE said it was horrible Monday night. He worked late and didn’t get home until 10:00. He said the one road to our house should have been closed — there were numerous cars (including a state police car) just pulled over in the parking lot of a store because they couldn’t make it up the hill, another person driving half in the ditch on the side of the road, and nary a salt truck in sight. These surprise storms seem to come at least once a year, but you never know “Is this the one?” So, every snowfall is treated like potential “snowmageddon” — except the one that really is. How does that happen?
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5.
boatdrinkbaby | February 23, 2011 at 3:35 am
Well you’ve hit it. It’s the boy who cried wolf. If every time a flake or two fall, you set off sirens . . . then nobody pays much attention when there is a real snow storm. Although (A) weathermen were calling for 3 inches, not 8-10 and (B) salt trucks were very late to the party because they had the day off for President’s Day — which I think is the stupidest part, to not have crews out there because they took a secondary/government holiday when the job they’re paid for is to remove snow on the days when it snows (not something you can set on a calendar). I say, they got last week off, they should have been ready to roll on Monday.
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