Life Preservers

Is the Password Kafka?

March 4, 2011 at 10:28 am 5 comments

Been without internet at home for three or four nights now.

Cannot for the life of me figure out why.

I attempt to use the Help.

“You must connect to the internet to access help.” (Oh, how helpful.)

So, I attempt to diagnose by clicking where it says to click to diagnose. And it tells me that something is unplugged. It doesn’t tell me which thing but it says something is unplugged.

So I put down the laptop, remove the afghan, and go to the office to crawl around under my desk, next to the litter box, and I check every g.d. connection. I have checked every connection and every wire like 437 times. Every plugged in thing is giving me a green light and/or an icon that means I’m good to go.

So, I crawl back under the desk next to the litter box and I reboot and unplug and wait 30 seconds (“One Mississippi, two Mississippi, three Mississippi. . . .”). And I stick my head back under the desk to see only the side of my cat Rocky who becomes fascinated with the area under my desk every time my connection goes (which is often). And I bang my head off the dang keyboard holder shelf thing as I remove said cat and I replug and wait. And I reboot and unplug and move the cat and narrowly miss banging my head and move cat again and wait and replug. And I reboot cuss unplug bang-damn-head cuss cuss cuss move cat wait cuss replug and cuss.

Nuttin’.

Except the appearance of Franco, the second cat, creeping up behind me, drawn as if hypnotized to explore the small dark litter box neighboring space beneath my desk.

So, I return to other room. I go to the Control Panel. And it tells me to click here to see available networks. And I click and my network is (as I’ve surmised) still not on the list.

So, I click on the option that will let me set up a network. And I type in the SSID and it tells me that network already exists and invites me to “click here” to connect to it.

And I do.

And it takes me back to the list of networks on which my network (which exists) does not exist.

So, I’m writing this in the hopes that someone will be able to help sort out my wireless existence. Writing from work quick as I can before I head for home, and. . . . And as I typed that last sentence, yeah, it dawns:   I’ll have to “Connect to the internet to access help.”

Good-bye.

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