Life Preservers

Something Is Amiss

April 21, 2021 at 10:58 am Leave a comment

Hello. If you can see this, please help. Something is amiss. The calendar says April 2021. I believe I’m stuck in a strange alternative universe. This world is very much like the real one I remember. You almost wouldn’t notice it—but for one thing: There are fewer hours in the day.

• In the beforetime, there were enough days in a week to do things weekly, like dusting, sweeping, laundry, cutting the grass, washing the car.
• There were more weekends in a month for things like cleaning gutters and weeding the garden.
• I tell you, and I swear it is true, there used to be time to repaint a room simply to make it a different color.
• I used to read books. It was possible, in the real world, to read an entire book in a day. In this strange place, I’m lucky if I can manage a few pages before I succumb to sleep.
• I used to listen to music. As an activity.
• I played video games. All the way to the end of the game.
• I used to scrapbook. I used to make jewelry. I used to do needlepoint!
• There was time before to drive to a place for the sole purpose of taking photographs of that place.
• There was time to follow the Steelers, Penguins, Pirates, and every minute of March Madness.
• I even used to play sports—two or three times a week—and we’d go out for dinner and drinks afterwards. The evenings in this world simply aren’t long enough for that, and there aren’t as many of them. (Does 2 a.m. even exist in this universe?)
• I used to do my nails. I used to put on make-up. I used to have time for using a blow dryer and a curling iron. There absolutely used to be more minutes in-between getting a shower and getting in the car to go someplace.
• I used to work jobs that required 10 hours a day, on average. Now I work from home—where time is not wasted in a commute or the inanities of ego and power—and yet there simply are not enough hours in the day. My novel remains unfinished. I am struggling even to complete this blog post.

Am I alone in this time-short universe? Is anyone else stuck in this realm? Give me a sign.

Please, there is no time to lose! This morning, I noticed that my driver’s license has morphed. It shows that I am nearing 60, when, only yesterday, I was in my 20s.

Entry filed under: Humor - Commentary. Tags: alternative universe, hours in the day, missing time, no time, timey wimey.