Life Preservers

Happy Easter!

April 5, 2015 at 1:00 am Leave a comment

Decorating Easter eggs, one of my favorite traditions. This year I tried “egg-white decopage,” with thanks to instructions from La Receta de la Felicidad blog. This is one of those things that looks crafty or artsy but is ridiculously simple. All you need are egg whites (in lieu of decopage glue), paper napkins with a pretty pattern, and a small paint brush. Voila. Fun and easy. The solid-color eggs were dyed with the good ol’ Paas kit. Honestly, I think the decopage eggs were easier and faster, especially considering the following.

A Few Thoughts on the Paas Kit:

•  How come if you buy the kit that comes with the cups, it includes 5 cups, but every Paas kit you buy after that comes with 6 color tablets?

•  Why is the color of the dye tablet different from the color of the dye it creates?

•  How long does it take for a dye tablet to dissolve in a Tablespoon of vinegar? (Shy of an eon; longer than it takes to get to the center of a TootsiePop.)

•  Based on progression to date, I predict that next year, the egg dipper contraption will be made out of leftover Christmas tree tinsel.

•  Didn’t you used to have to boil the water? I swear I thought you had to boil the water.

•  Where does the magic crayon get it powers?

•  Wait a minute. Isn’t this just a lump of wax shaped like a crayon? I paid extra for this?

•  Do the manufacturers of the Paas kit think that there are people out there in the world who, while trying to dye eggs with children in a kitchen recently cleaned for company, while dealing with drips and spills, while refereeing who gets to use the crappy stickers, while struggling against the growing ennui triggered by the magic crayon’s lack of enchantment, find themselves thinking, “Oh, if only there was a family activity we could do right now, something tedious and time-consuming that would require the use of needle and thread. Oh, I know! Let’s have ‘Fun Time with Silly Circles’! (i.e., make a necklace from soggy, ragged bits of cardboard perforated on the back of the Paas box).”

•  They have actually titled it “Fun Time with Silly Circles.” (In Spanish, Diversion con Circulos Bobos.)

• Has anyone ever used any of the “extras” like the Eggarounds or the “egg stands” that won’t hold an egg or the “drying tray” (back of the box minus Silly Circles) that is too shallow to hold an egg? Couldn’t they just skip all that crap and have a decent egg dipper?

•  Lastly, and perhaps the winning sentence on a box crammed to capacity with superfluous text:  On the front of the box, beneath the cover art, there is fine print that notes:  “Enlarged to show detail.” While I appreciate their honesty, I am curious to know which part of the scene they are referring to. Is it the bunny in overalls?  The duck who is just about to dunk an egg into a hot tub full of dye? Or, do you think they are referring to the egg pals with their big smiles and raised eyebrows? Which of these is actually smaller — in real life? I may never know.

Happy Easter, everybody.

Entry filed under: Humor - Commentary. Tags: Easter, eggs, Paas kit.