Life Preservers

Dear Peter Jackson

January 8, 2015 at 2:21 pm 1 comment

Dear Peter Jackson,

Have you ever read the book by J.R.R. Tolkein called The Hobbit?

With your imagination, vision, and love of the genre, I bet you could turn it into a wonderful movie.

I know you just recently finished some preposterous video game, CGI experimental something-or-other that turned out rather dumbfoundingly ridiculous. But, hey, at least people paid three times to see it! So, I’m thinking, you should have plenty of money to do something wonderful with The Hobbit.

Relatively, it wouldn’t take you very long. It’s a short book, under 300 pages. (I re-read it yesterday in a few hours.) So, it could never be a trilogy, but it’s a charming tale.

It’s an adventure story, with villains and good guys and magic and talking animals. It’s not another Lord of the Rings. Galadriel isn’t in it. Saruman isn’t in it. Legolas isn’t in it. Michael Myers isn’t in it. Aragorn isn’t born yet. Gandalf hasn’t yet met Radagast. Sauron hasn’t revealed himself. There’s no slapstick cross-dressing.

There is a stubborn and proud (but kindhearted and quite sane) dwarf named Thorin. And, most important, there’s this little fellow in his 50s? He’s the lead. His name is Bilbo. He’s not as fierce as a dwarf or as experienced as Gandalf . . . but, well, that’s kind of the point.

Oh! Bilbo is a thief! That should appeal to you, right? haha jk

Consider it for your next project: The Hobbit. It’s a clever, enchanting tale about courage and luck and friendship.

It’s about not sitting back and getting too comfortable as one gets older. It’s about surrounding yourself with the right people. It’s about stepping outside your comfort zone while still being true to who you are. It’s about doing what’s right even when you are very tired, very stressed, and very lost. It’s about the importance of treating your fellow man fairly.

It also demonstrates how much a creature will begin to stink if he lies around for too long on big piles of gold.

So, okay, it’s called The Hobbit. You should read it.

Entry filed under: Humor - Commentary. Tags: boo, Five Armies, Hobbit, Peter Jackson, review.